I predict that Contagion, directed by Steven Soderbergh, will sweep the Oscars this year and take home all the awards for "Most Crap", "Total Balls" and "WTF?!". It is a work of sheer comic mastery that is jammed packed with all your favourite characters and big Hollywood stars!
Synopsis (Warning: Spoiler Alert)
Contagion begins with Gwyneth Paltrow in a Chicago airport returning from a recent trip to Hong Kong. She has just cheated on Chris Martin of Coldplay with a Bat/Pig hybrid that has a very "contagious" disease. Cut to some other scene where laughs ensue as some random Chinese people die (those nutty Chinese and their goofy diseases). Gwyneth returns home where Jason Bourne is making dinner for her generic child. I nearly shot root beer out of my nose when suddenly Gwyneth starts having seizures. Jason Bourne is very concerned and heroically calls an ambulance.
Dr. Watson (played by Jude Law) has become a blogger and is trying to spread the word about a new, hilarious virus that is quickly spreading around the world. Watson says some things that I'm sure are very important, but was hard to distinguish over my laughter. The virus spreads more, and the CDC and WHO call in Morpheus and the girl from Titanic (played by Kate Winslet) to fight the virus. There is also a french girl (played by Marion Cotillard) who gets Stockholm Syndrome. Jason Bourne is immune to the disease, likely because he is a super spy, and the girl from Titanic dies trying to give someone her jacket. The general public starts rioting because Boston won the Stanley Cup and Morpheus goes on TV. Keith Mars is in the movie too, along with the dad from Malcolm in the Middle, but their parts are small and not very funny.
I would highly recommend this movie to anyone who hates themselves and their loved ones! Although, if you have a deep seeded fear of diseases caused by BatPigs, it might be a little too real.
